If You Can't Say Anything Nice

The interview had gone fine so far, and we were just finishing up.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what other schools are you thinking of?"

"Well," the guy I was interviewing volunteered, "I'm also applying to [well-known East-Coast engineering school], but MAN I think that place sucks!"

"Uh, really?" I said. "How so?"

"Well, I mean, the students there are all so dorky, and there's just no social life whatsoever. And the facilities are kinda old and run down. I applied there because my parents wanted me to, but I just think it'd really suck to go there."

"Well, if you didn't want to go there, why didn't you tell your parents?"

"Well, I mean it's a good school and all, I guess, and worst-case I think I can probably get in--my dad went there. But I mean, don't you think it's a crappy place? I mean, have you ever met anyone from there who doesn't suck?"

"Sure, I know some people who went there. They seemed to have survived."

"I guess... I'd just hate to have to go there. I'd so much rather go to your school!"

Ding.

Advice
Look, everyone knows that every applicant has a hierarchy of schools they're applying to--some you're excited about, some you'd be OK with, some are fall backs. That's the way the process works.

But, under no circumstances, is it EVER a good idea to trash another school during your interview--although you'd be shocked how many students do. Why?

First, you have nothing to gain by trashing another school. Maybe--maybe--you can get away with a playful jibe at a rival school: Make fun of applying to UC Berkeley as a backup if you're applying to Stanford, for instance. But even that is risky and doesn't gain you much of anything--don't risk it.

Trashing other schools makes you look petty and juvenile--precisely what you want to avoid in your interview. It definitely calls your judgement into question. You risk insulting your interviewer (never know where your interviewer's spouse, siblings or friends went, for instance). Worse yet, given that you probably didn't trash that school when you were interviewing there, it makes your interviewer wonder what you really think about his or her school--are you being equally tacky when interviewing with other schools?

Plus, come on, it's just bad manners. What did mom always say? If you can't say something nice... So don't be a dolt.

How should you handle the "What other schools are you applying to?" question?

This is actually the bigger issue--what do you say when your interviewer asks where else you're applying. Sometimes they're just curious. Sometimes there's a bigger reason--they want to know whether their school is your safety school, your middle-of-the-pack school, or your stretch/aspirational school.

Might your Princeton interviewer question how serious an applicant you are if they find out every other school you're applying to are local state schools? Maybe.

So first off, don't volunteer your application list if you're not asked--it's none of your interviewer's business anyway, and you don't gain anything by bringing it up.

But, if asked:

• Politely defer, if you can. "I'm still finalizing my list. I applied early to your school though because it was my clear-cut top choice" or "I'm applying to a number of other schools with similar reputations and selectivity, but the outstanding drama program at your university sets it apart as my top pick."
• If pressed, be honest. "I'm applying to six schools, yours, X, Y...."
• Should you fib? This is tricky--if you're applying to 30 schools because you're completely indecisive and couldn't figure out what you wanted, probably best not to volunteer that--your interviewer will (probably correctly) judge you as a not-very-serious applicant. Likewise, if every other school you're applying to is ranked far below the one you're interviewing for, it might be best to fib that you're considering a couple of peer institutions. Just be careful--you might be asked about that school, or in some other way be found out. (I heard a story of an applicant who went on at length about their interview experience at another school--only for their interviewer to point out that the other school doesn't interview. Ouch.)

As always, this comes down to good manners. Don't be a cretin--don't trash other schools in your interview, even if given the opportunity--and you'll avoid a surprisingly common pitfall. ----CJ